The bromance (as Jane calls it) between me and Bertie happily continues. We’ve had a great week together. Romantic walks, intimate meals, evenings spent curled up on the sofa, and…erm…drinking puddle water and chasing birds1.
Mind you, it’s not easy living with someone who likes to chill by lying on his back, legs apart and testicles on display for all to see. But hey, I think he’s getting used to me.
1. Note to Jane: my days of chasing birds are over ↶
Prior to this pandemic, thanks to Brexit and the ensuing culture war, Britain has been engulfed in political turmoil for three years. Each day seemed to bring a new political calamity, which was then promptly forgotten when the next one happened 24 hours later. Weeks felt like months, months felt like years. I really regret not keeping a simple note of events as they happened, just so I could look back and try and make some sense of it all.
So during this period I’ve decided to sum up the weekly events that have struck me the most, from the deadly serious to the absurdly ridiculous. If my tone seems flippant at times…well, we all have our own way of getting through this horror.
See all previous updates here
This week in The Coronapocalypse:
- PM Boris Johnson back to work after recovering from Coronavirus
- UK records its lowest daily death toll for a month
- New Zealanders queue for burgers, fries and takeaway coffee after being freed from month-long lockdown
- Nation holds minute’s silence for key workers who have died
- Scotland recommends use of non-surgical face masks when in a confined space. England does not.
- 30 million have sought US unemployment aid since virus hit
- Huge jump in official death numbers as government includes coronavirus deaths in care homes and the community
- Number of recorded cases in US exceeds one million
- 3-10% of UK population may have been infected
- Flag carrier British Airways announces 12,000 redundancies
- Boris Johnson and partner Carrie Symonds celebrate birth of baby boy
- Captain Tom Moore, who raised more than £29m for NHS by walking laps of his garden, celebrates 100th birthday.
- Sales of condoms down, as social distancing rules limit ‘number of intimate occasions’
- Ryanair to cut 3,000 jobs and reduce staff pay by up to a fifth
- Record falls in CO2 emissions
- Legendary American investor Warren Buffett dumps entire holdings in four major US airlines, warning that “world has changed” for aviation industry
- US intelligence agencies conclude that the virus was “not manmade or genetically modified”
- President Trump claims to have evidence coronavirus started in Chinese lab but offers no details
- Spain’s lockdown, one of the toughest in Europe, slowly eased as adults allowed outside again
Worldwide cases: 3,484,558 (previous week 2,921,556)
Worldwide deaths: 244,786 (previous week 203,299 )
UK cases: 182,260 (previous week 148,377 )
UK deaths: 28,131 (previous week 20,319)