This Week In The Coronapocalypse | Bertie Comes To Stay

I met Jane in the plaza beneath my flat. We sat at opposite ends of a bench like two spies about to hand over state secrets. What we did actually hand over – or more accurately, what ran across the social distance between us – was Bertie.

We had a health scare with Coco at the beginning of the week, resulting in a couple of sleepless nights for us and an operation for her. She’s fine, and is recuperating at home. But what she doesn’t need is Bertie wrestling with her all hours of the day. So now I’m on Puppy Patrol.

This has had an enormously positive impact on my life. The cumulative weeks of insolation were having an effect on me that I wasn’t even admitting to myself. Now I have some company. He’s my Wilson to Tom Hanks’s Castaway. He’s one of the funniest, and certainly the most affectionate dog I’ve ever known, and barely leaves my side for a second.

Being a Working Cocker Spaniel his energy levels are off the scale. This has added some welcome enforced structure and exercise to my current life:

06:00 – 90 minute walk

08:00 – Breakfast for two

08:30 – Work

12:00 – Lunch for two

12:30 – 90 minute walk

14:00 – Work

18:00 – Dinner for two

19:00 – 60 minute walk

20:30 – Fall asleep in front of the telly whilst attempting to watch first episode of box set for the 10th time

I’m just very grateful that social distancing doesn’t extend to dogs.

All photos Fujifilm X100F, Acros Film Simulation


Prior to this pandemic, thanks to Brexit and the ensuing culture war, Britain has been engulfed in political turmoil for three years. Each day seemed to bring a new political calamity, which was then promptly forgotten when the next one happened 24 hours later. Weeks felt like months, months felt like years. I really regret not keeping a simple note of events as they happened, just so I could look back and try and make some sense of it all.

So during this period I’ve decided to sum up the weekly events that have struck me the most, from the deadly serious to the absurdly ridiculous. If my tone seems flippant at times…well, we all have our own way of getting through this horror.

See all previous updates here

This week in The Coronapocalypse:

  • US oil prices go below zero for first time on record
  • Oktoberfest cancelled
  • Denmark bans gatherings of 500+ until September
  • France bans all flights outside the Schengen zone
  • Parliament re-convenes using video conferencing technology
  • President Trump announces plan to suspend immigration to US
  • Government’s chief medical officer says return to normal in short term is ‘wholly unrealistic’
  • UK will need social distancing until at least end of year
  • Oxford University starts first human trials of Covid-19 vaccine
  • In this week’s edition of Don’t Try This At Home, President Trump floats the idea of injecting disinfectant as a treatment for Covid-19
  • Disinfectant & bleach manufacturers issue statements advsing people not to drink their products
  • Government to setup website to roll out mass testing to UK keyworkers
  • Government website runs out of tests within 120 seconds
  • Road traffic levels on the rise again
  • Home Secretry Priti Patel mocked for boasting shoplifting has declined. (clue: shops are closed)
  • 99 Year old veteran Captain Tom Moore becomes oldest person ever to have UK No. 1 hit


Worldwide cases: 2,921,556 (previous week 2,332,471)
Worldwide deaths: 203,299 (previous week 160,784 )
UK cases: 148,377 (previous week 114,217 )
UK deaths: 20,319 (previous week 15,464)

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This Week In The Coronapocalypse | In An Instant: Yashica Electro 35 CC

You know you’re at the chewing your own arm off stage of the Apocalypse when you have to resort to taking pictures of your own cameras.

This is the Yashica Electro 35CC, smaller sibling (and all the better for it) of Yaschica’s Electro series of 60/70’s rangefinders. Aperture priority auto-exposure, 35mm focal length, f/2.8 lens. Nice.

Yashica Electro 35 CC / Polaroid SX-70 Sonar / Polaroid Originals SX-70 Black & White Film

Yashica 35 CC polaroid


Prior to this pandemic, thanks to Brexit and the ensuing culture war, Britain has been engulfed in political turmoil for three years. Each day seemed to bring a new political calamity, which was then promptly forgotten when the next one happened 24 hours later. Weeks felt like months, months felt like years. I really regret not keeping a simple note of events as they happened, just so I could look back and try and make some sense of it all.

So during this period I’ve decided to sum up the weekly events that have struck me the most, from the deadly serious to the absurdly ridiculous. If my tone seems flippant at times…well, we all have our own way of getting through this horror.

See all previous updates here

This week in The Coronapocalypse:

  • ‘UK likely to be the worst affected country in Europe’ – Government advisor
  • PM Boris Johnson leaves hospital & releases video praising immigrant NHS nurses who saved his life. The same ones who now wouldn’t meet the criteria under the Government’s new immigration policy
  • Queen gives Easter message of hope
  • Malaysian scientists create robot on wheels to make hospital rounds to check on coronavirus patients
  • Italy records lowest number of new infections for a month
  • Trump suspends WHO funding
  • UK economy could shrink by 35% with 2m job losses, warns OBR
  • EU’s medicine regulator estimates it could take one year before coronavirus vaccine available for widespread use
  • 107th Tour de France postponed until August
  • 99-year-old war veteran, Captain Tom Moore, raises £1000, £1M, £10M, £15M, £21M £25M for NHS staff after reaching goal of walking 100 laps of his garden
  • Romanians fly in to help pick British fruit
  • UK Lockdown extended by a least another three weeks
  • Some European countries begin to ease lockdown restrictions
  • Iran announces invention of device that can detect coronavirus at a distance of 100 metres, using a magnetic field and “bipolar virus”.
  • Egged on by Tweeting Trump, 1000’s of protesters armed with MAGA flags and …er… actual arms, defy social distancing and swarm the steps of Michigan’s state capitol to demand end to stay at home orders


Worldwide cases: 2,332,471 (previous week 1,784,331)
Worldwide deaths: 160,784 (previous week 108,962 )
UK cases: 114,217 (previous week 78,991)
UK deaths: 15,464 (previous week 9,875)

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This Week In The Coronapocalypse | In An Instant: Why The Long Face?

I came across this beautiful and friendly chap on one of my recent expeditions to that dark and mysterious territory known as The Outside.

Chertsey / Polaroid SX-70 Sonar / Polaroid Originals SX-70 Black & White Film

polaroid horse


Prior to this pandemic, thanks to Brexit and the ensuing culture war, Britain has been engulfed in political turmoil for three years. Each day seemed to bring a new political calamity, which was then promptly forgotten when the next one happened 24 hours later. Weeks felt like months, months felt like years. I really regret not keeping a simple note of events as they happened, just so I could look back and try and make some sense of it all.

So during this period I’ve decided to sum up the weekly events that have struck me the most, from the deadly serious to the absurdly ridiculous. If my tone seems flippant at times…well, we all have our own way of getting through this horror.

See all previous updates here

This week in The Coronapocalypse:

  • Scottish Chief Medical Officer resigns for breaching her own social distancing rules after holiday home visits
  • PM Boris Johnson admitted to hospital ‘as a precaution’, having suffered prolonged Covid-19 symptoms
  • Queen gives rousing special address to the nation for only the fifth time in her 68 year reign. Nation heartened
  • Boris Johnson admitted to intensive care as health worsens. Nation deflated
  • Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab apparently now running Government
  • Nobody is really sure who is running Government
  • NHS Nightingale recieves first patients
  • Daily deaths in Italy gradually decreasing
  • Daily deaths in UK significantly increasing
  • No new deaths recorded in China
  • NHS workers put at risk due to lack of PPE. Some use plastic bags
  • Airbnb halts bookings in UK following complaints that hosts have been advertising properties as Covid-19 retreats
  • Chocolate giant Mondelēz (Cadbury and Oreo) repurposes 3D printing technology used for chocolate sculptures to make medical visiors for NHS staff
  • Some NHS workers send children to live with relatives in bid to protect them from Covid-19. It’s the Blitz all over again
  • PM transferred from intensive care to low dependency ward as health improves
  • Massive advertising campaign launched to discourage Brits from going out during the long and sunny Easter weekend
  • US becomes first country to record more than 2000 deaths in one day
  • Images emerge of coffins being buried in mass grave in New York City
  • Daily deaths in Spain gradually decreasing
  • EU agrees €500bn rescue package
  • PM improving and sitting up in bed


Worldwide cases: 1,784,331 (previous week 1,203,109)
Worldwide deaths: 108,962 (previous week 64,743)
UK cases: 78,991 (previous week 41,903)
UK deaths: 9,875 (previous week 4,313 )

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This Week In The Coronapocalypse | In An Instant: Lockdown Edition: Mini Me

And on my latest day release exercise, I swung by……. the cemetery. Again.

I’ve no idea what sort of meter the SX-70 has. But with this very white monument and the bushes behind, I was kind of hoping the meter would tone down the whites and render the background completely black. And it so very nearly did.

Chertsey Cemetery / Polaroid SX-70 Sonar / Polaroid Originals SX-70 Black & White Film

Chertsey Cemetery


Prior to this pandemic, thanks to Brexit and the ensuing culture war, Britain has been engulfed in political turmoil for three years. Each day seemed to bring a new political calamity, which was then promptly forgotten when the next one happened 24 hours later. Weeks felt like months, months felt like years. I really regret not keeping a simple note of events as they happened, just so I could look back and try and make some sense of it all.

So during this period I’ve decided to sum up the weekly events that have struck me the most, from the deadly serious to the absurdly ridiculous. If my tone seems flippant at times…well, we all have our own way of getting through this horror.

See all previous updates here

This week in The Coronapocalypse:

  • UK testing policy under severe critiscism
  • Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose whilst inventing coronavirus device to warn when touching face
  • Video conferencing app Zoom valued at 50% greater than total of all US airlines combined
  • Google reports ‘How to cut men’s hair at home’ is last week’s top ‘how to’ search
  • Wimbledon cancelled for the first time since WWII
  • Endinburgh Festival cancelled
  • Basically, every cultural event for this year cancelled
  • Covid-19 claims its first democracy, as Hungary’s Viktor Orbán suspends Parliament and elections indefinitely
  • Contactless payment limit raised from £30 to £45
  • Number of confirmed worldwide cases passes one million
  • British Airways suspends 30,000 staff until the end of May under the government furlough scheme
  • British Airways staff serve breakfast for NHS employees at Whittington hospital
  • Britons once again take to their windows and balconies to clap, cheer and bang cooking pots for the NHS workers
  • Prime Minister still in self-isolation
  • PM’s pregnant partner also confirms she is recovering from Covid-19
  • London’s ExCel Exhibition Centre converted into 4000 bed temporary hospital in nine days
  • Health Secretary sets aim of 100,000 tests a day by end of April
  • Mobile phone masts torched and engineers abused over baseless theories linking coronavirus to 5G
  • President Trump announces latest infection figures top 8.5 million. Oh, sorry, that was actually his press briefing viewing ratings


Worldwide cases: 1,203,109 (previous week 664,891)
Worldwide deaths: 64,743 (previous week 30,893)
UK cases: 41,903 (previous week 17,089)
UK deaths: 4,313 (previous week 1,019)

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This Week In The Coronapocalypse | In An Instant: Lockdown Edition: Pylon

I’ve now shot two packs of Polaroid Originals colour film in my SX-70, and I’m starting to get a feel for what works for me: simple compositions, muted or restricted colour palettes. Yellows and blues tend to look nice.

Now it’s time to try some black and white, and I didn’t really know what to expect. I went down by the river on this morning’s walk and shot this. Based on my extensive experience of one shot, the black and white film seems to be a very different beast. A touch more ethereal, a bit more flaky. I’m quite excited to get out and shoot some more. I guess that’s what house arrest does to you.

Pylon, Chertsey Meads / Polaroid SX-70 Sonar / Polaroid Originals SX-70 Black & White Film

Polaroid Pylon


Prior to this pandemic, thanks to Brexit and the ensuing culture war, Britain has been engulfed in political turmoil for three years. Each day seemed to bring a new political calamity, which was then promptly forgotten when the next one happened 24 hours later. Weeks felt like months, months felt like years. I really regret not keeping a simple note of events as they happened, just so I could look back and try and make some sense of it all.

So during this period I’ve decided to sum up the weekly events that have struck me the most, from the deadly serious to the absurdly ridiculous. If my tone seems flippant at times…well, we all have our own way of getting through this horror.

See all previous updates here

This week in The Coronapocalypse:

  • UK officially in lockdown for minimum of three weeks
  • Nation celebrates Mother’s Day by not visiting mothers
  • Most vulnerable told to isolate for 12 weeks
  • Prince Charles tests positive
  • More than 700,000 heed the call and volunteer to help the National Health Service
  • PM Boris Johnson leads by example and tests positive
  • Oh, and the Health Secretary. Oops.
  • Clap For Carers: households across the UK stand on doorsteps & balconies to applaud efforts of NHS. Grown men weep get something in their eye.
  • Situation stabalising in China….
  • ….whilst situation in New York and Spain looks ever more grim
  • Government declines invitation to participate in EU scheme to get desperately needed ventilators because ‘We are no longer in the EU’…
  • ….and then following national backlash ‘clarifies’ by saying ‘We didn’t see the email’. Yep, the grown ups charged with getting us through this crisis basically used the Dog Ate My Homework excuse. Lordy.
  • Off-licences declared ‘essential’ and allowed to stay open. Draw your own conclusions about us Brits.
  • Self-employed to be paid 80% of previous year’s profit.
  • Gatherings of more than two people outlawed. The Nation’s introverts cheer.
  • US now country with most cases
  • Britsh Summer Time starts and clocks go forward one hour, meaning nation has one less hour of weekend to enjoy / endure (delete as appropriate) with family members before…
  • …spending every waking hour of forthcoming weeks with family members…


Worldwide cases: 664,891
Worldwide deaths: 30,893
UK cases: 17,089
UK deaths: 1,019

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